The holidays -- Florida style

When I decided to move to the Sunshine State, I knew things would be different. I knew I'd miss friends and family, have to start over being the "new girl," miss out on special events and fun, everyday things. In theory, I thought I'd be prepared for all of it. But reality is a little different and the holiday season is proving just how different my reality has become.




Yes, I have been jealous when I see my friends post on Facebook about going out and doing things without me. But what feels the weirdest about being down here by myself is the holidays. I spent two years away from home when I went to college in Ypsilanti, and I spent my birthday either studying or going out with my friends on the East side, but I always made it home for Thanksgiving and Christmas. This year will be the first year I will be away from everybody for both.

Granted, Thanksgiving hasn't been a big deal in my family for a few years. When I was a little girl, Thanksgiving meant an eight-hour drive to Michigan and dinner at my Gramps' country club. It meant seeing my extended family once a year and keeping my mouth shut and ducking whenever the dysfunction hit the fan. Since my Gramps passed away, the extended family has scattered and no one thinks it's really safe for all of us to be in the same room with carving utensils — which is fine with me. But at least Thanksgiving the past few years has meant dinner with my parents and birthday cake before I go to work.

This year I tried my best to fill my day so I wouldn't feel sad about being by myself. I ran my first Turkey Trot 5K and volunteered to work. I even made birthday cookies to take to work that seemed to brighten everybody up.

I am grateful my boss gave me a few days off to fly home, but with tight schedules and costly airline tickets, I will be flying back to Florida on Christmas Eve and working Christmas Day. I made a promise to my mother a few years ago that I would always come home for Christmas, so this is as close as I could get. I'm going to try to cram as much Christmas as I can into my six-day trip, and my parents and I will have "Christmas," just early, but it's still different.

This is the first year I won't make toffee with my mom. This is the first year I won't go shopping with Angie or have Liz bribe me with wine to wrap her presents. This is the first year I'll have to buy Christmas presents and stuff them — unwrapped for security purposes — into a suitcase and fly them to Michigan. This is the first year I will experience the craziness of holiday traveling.

I have been trying to bring the holidays to my new apartment by embracing the cliche of Christmas in Florida. I found a 4-foot purple Christmas tree at Walmart. I bought a tacky, purple glitter star to put on top and a tacky, purple glitter and feather skirt to put on the bottom. Katie sent me flamingo and flip flop lights and I added snowflakes, icicles and colored balls. It's a mix of traditional ornaments and tropical Christmas motifs. It makes me laugh every time I plug it in.

I've been trying to bring part of my old Christmases to my new Florida Christmas. I made toffee for the guys at work and to mail to friends. I've been watching Christmas movies and singing cheesy songs. But something just doesn't feel right. Maybe it's the weather. Maybe it's the fact that I'm alone. Maybe it's the fact that I'm still living through my year of firsts. But if just doesn't feel like Christmas. I want it to. But I'm just not there yet.