Besides catching up on the latest news and complaining about the male species, my best bud Katie and I like to laugh at all things crazy, ironic and wrong with the world. More often then not when we talk, we are convinced we have stumbled upon some great truth about life and that it could become the next best seller.
Katie and I toy around with book ideas about life, surviving singledom (more my problem now than hers), dating dumbasses, trying to unearth the truth behind male stereotypes and trying to prove we don't fall victim to the stereotypes of our own crazy gender.
While Katie has called dibs on the book proving romantic comedies have poisoned female minds and ruined relationships before they have even started, we both think there is a book idea in the vicious circle of bad relationship behavior.
I don't know about the rest of the world, but based on my personal misadventures in the dating world, I have come to expect two things from guys — 1. If a guy approaches me, it is purely because he thinks he can get lucky, every word he tries to sell is pure BS and he has no desire to see me once the sun comes up the next morning. B. Any guy that sticks around for more than 24 hours will inevitably hurt me or break my heart.
Now, this is not some set of notions I have adopted to get my friends to pump up my self esteem and it is not meant as a way to challenge a guy to defend his gender and prove me wrong. I have long ago accepted these two truths as day-to-day facts and yet I still stick my toes into the dating world from time to time, knowing full well what is up ahead. But I do find a certain fascination with how these low standards have become acceptable to the world — not just to me. Why do we treat each other so badly?
While I haven't read the book yet — blasphemous, I know but I have a request put in at the library — I have a feeling this acceptance, at least from the female perspective, can be explained from a line in "He's just not that into you." We girls are taught at a young age that when a boy is mean, rude or just plain horrible to us, it is because he likes us.
What?!?!?!?!?!?
Somehow, we find logic in the explanation that when a guy pushes us down on the playground, spits in our faces, ignores us in front of his friends, or flirts with another girl in front of us, it isn't because he thinks we are scum but because he secretly thinks we walk on water. Yeah, that sounds about right.
We girls grow up thinking bad behavior is the norm, and we are suspicious of anything genuine, sweet or chivalrous. Then, to add fuel to the fire of burning bad behavior, when a new guy approaches, we expect the rude treatment and dish it right back to them. So if the guy really is one of the rare, nice ones, he then thinks the girl is a bitch and decides not to waste his time, or she has hurt his feelings and he will turn into one of the many creeps. But if the guy was a creep to begin with, the girl's behavior has just solidified his belief that his behavior is socially acceptable, and the cycle continues.
Is anyone else's head spinning or is it just me?
When did being nice become a novelty? I know I am not one to throw stones because my glass house would be the first one on the block to break, but why can't people be nicer? Shouldn't relationships, or romantic feelings for another person bring out the best in ourselves instead of the worst? I know when I like a guy, I am also at my most vulnerable, so why is that the very moment when he chooses to turn the tables on me?
I know I have done things to guys that I would never, ever do to my friends. Why didn't he call me out and tell me I was treating him like crap on toast? Why was I allowed to get away with it? And why are girls allowing guys to get away with it, too? When did accepting sub-par behavior become the accepted social norm in the dating world?
There has to be a story, or a huge case study, in here somewhere.
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